You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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