you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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