FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Randomize
