i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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