It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just had sex on a roof
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
