Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
