You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
