But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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