I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
