Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize