I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
