i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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