it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
