my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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