she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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