Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize