I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
