Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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