you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
