Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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