Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
