i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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