A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
