The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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