Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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