We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
