does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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