I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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