I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
