I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize