I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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