im holly from the hills drunk
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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