Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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