He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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