She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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