I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's shark week go big or go home
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
