The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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