also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
