areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
