My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I pour the whiskey from now on
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
