There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
