Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize