brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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