is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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