guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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