Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
