Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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