In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
BRING THE BAGELS
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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