i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
