trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
