Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
