Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
