piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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