he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
