So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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