High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
