I just threw up on my dentist
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I didn't notice because vodka
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Randomize
