i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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