Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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