i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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