i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she peed on how many people?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize